I am still reeling from yesterday’s news reports and, as expected, the local press and TV today is filled with UMNO related news. I rejoice though that they have spared us from direct telecast of the debates here. Despite being apolitical and ever the journalist, I can’t help but wonder what message the Presidential Address will convey as the mantle of leadership is surely a heavy burden to bear. I wish him well and hope he has not forgotten the children of Malaysia. While the media were busy reporting on Nurin related matters and bloggers were busy trying to get the Nurin Alert going, we overlooked a big problem in today’s society, latchkey kids.
This is not a new problem, in fact many of us do know young children left unattended while both parents went out to work. This usually happens among the financially hardpressed families with both parents having to work in order to make ends meet. But Preeshena was a different story. She lived in a gated community in an upmarket condominium. Indeed, what happened in this case is really hard to comprehend! The residents say they are living in fear that the killer(s) might still be among them here and her father says here that they have lived in the condo for two years. Yet there was no one who was kind enough for Preeshena to stay with for two hours while waiting for her father to pick her up? Good neighbourliness is a dying culture, I wonder?
But wisdom in retrospect is easy. I remember when I stayed alone in my sisters condo on weekdays for six months due to distance from my workplace, there was a young couple staying in the unit above me. I would often hear loud arguments at night followed by sounds of children crying and screaming. I felt worried but did not know whether I should interfere. My sister told me that the problems began when the husband became jobless and the wife was supporting the family. Worse, the husband walked out on them and the wife had to leave her two young children aged six and three years at home while she went to work. I did not realise this until I happened to see her locking the two kids in after saying bye-bye to them. The look she gave me prevented me from asking further.
But I remember going to work with a heavy heart. Fortunately, the condo was a small gated community and our block was just next to the security guard who happened to be a kind pak cik. Soon after, the family moved out and, hopefully, found a better life. I sometimes wonder who could she have turned to for help with her kids? Most of the neighbours were at work. Maybe the young mother felt too shy to ask for help, or maybe did not want people prying into her personal troubles. I am just glad the kids came to no harm. Unlike the fate of poor Preeshena.
What do we do with latchkey kids? I remember there was a big hue and cry about this a few years ago. The features desk in NST did a focus on what could be done to ensure they were safe. There has to be a way for parents to get help. This is not an issue of missing children, but it is a symptom of a deeper problem – the dangerous game of chance we play with our children’s safety. It can and has proven to be fatal.
Nurin Alert could not have saved Preeshena. How do we prevent other Preeshenas? A deeper sense of community would indeed help. Indeed, a sense of community is what it will take to make Nurin Alert as well. Without a community that cares, latchkey kids or any child will just be fodder for criminals and perverts. This is a real problem in the US as this article highlights. I think we need to learn how to deal with latchkey kids from them as well. Is this a sign of the times for Malaysia? If the price to pay is more reports of abducted, abused, tortured and killed children, the price is too high. We need to get that community spirit going again people!
Latchkey Kids: When can children be home alone?; Police say parents choose
 Officer Dave Vaught patrols near Parkridge Park on Beardsly Road. Police officials say children who are home alone should have access to contact information for emergency personnel. Independent Newspapers/Julie Anne Conolly |
By Julie Anne Conolly, Independent Newspapers
The thought of leaving their child home alone could terrify some parents.
But in a nine-to-five world with two parents working, that is a reality for many Peoria families and families throughout the Valley.
Earlier this year, a serial rapist scoped out homes in Chandler, looking for routines, and attacking young women after their parents went to work. In June, he changed his pattern by attacking a teenager while her grandfather was in the home.
“In those cases you either have parents not locking the doors when they leave or the teenagers are letting them in,” said Mike Tellef, spokesman for the Peoria Police Department. “You’d be surprised how many people do not lock their doors.”
He noted that any child or teenager home alone should lock the door at all times.
The concept of “’latchkey” children began during World War II when stay-at-home mothers went to work as their husbands went to war, according to the New York University’s Child Study Center’s Web site, www.aboutourkids.org.
The center cites the U.S. census report to state one-third of all school age children in the United States are, for some part of the week, latchkey kids.
“The total number may be between five and seven million children between 5 and 13 years old,” the Web site states. “The Census Bureau found that 15 percent were home alone before school, 76 percent after school and 9 percent at night.”
The center also states one-half of all American children, 12-14, are home alone an average of seven hours each week.
Peoria Unified School District parent Suzanne Berger believes it is sometimes acceptable to leave a child alone.
“I think in a safe neighborhood, in a home and not an apartment or condo, a mature child as young as 10 could stay home alone for a few hours,” Ms. Berger said. “Otherwise, I think 12 is the absolute youngest age.”
JoLynn Groening allows her son to occasionally stay home alone.
“Our son is 11 years old. I was comfy leaving him for up to an hour alone last year,” Ms. Groening said. “It usually happened by accident — a scheduling snafu or emergency situation — and he got the habit of going to the next door neighbors house and calling us. This year, we got him his own cell phone for just such occasions.”
Peoria parent Jennifer van Rosmalen disagrees with the latchkey philosophy.
“I don’t think any child at any age should be left home alone after school. There are too many variables that can happen at each and every age,” Ms. van Rosmalen said.
Mr. Tellef said there is no legal age set for when children can be left alone.
“You could have a 15-year-old who is not ready to handle it, but a 9-year-old that is,” Mr. Tellef said. “The parents are going to have to make that decision.”
He did say the department can use their discretion on what they would consider neglect.
“If we find a 4-year-old, we’re going to have issues. We might with a 6-year-old,” Mr. Tellef said.
He said parents should have lengthy discussions with their children about emergency procedures and who to notify in case of emergency.
Mr. Tellef also noted information on how to contact emergency personnel should be available for the children.
Ms. Berger said parents should instruct their children about telephone use.
“If children are home alone, they should not answer the phone — let the machine get it, and if it is someone you know like mom or grandma, and then call them back,” Ms. Berger said. “Of course, they should not answer the door, no matter who it is. If someone keeps calling or is persistent at the door, call 911.”
She also said parents should teach their children how to properly use appliances and to call when they arrive home.
Ms. van Rosmalen had similar advice.
If a child is left home alone, I would tell them no making/receiving phone calls, no TV, no Internet, no friends over, no going outside to play, and no going to anyone else’s house whose parents are not home, Ms. van Rosmalen said. “I would have a real solid plan of what they are supposed to be doing while the parent is away, such as checking in with the parent periodically if possible, doing homework, doing chores around the house, working on a project, or having them go through their seasonal clothing, cleaning out their room, or whatever.”
Ms. Groening trained her son for every situation.
“I work only part-time. My son has had extensive training on what to do if lost, someone attempts to molest him, what dangerous situations can be, what to watch out for and two years of Tae Kwon Do in addition to that. Call me paranoid. I am,” Ms. Groening said.
Mr. Tellef said in the day-and-age of child predators who watch for routines, parents should rely on each other to keep their children safe.
“We are talking non-stop about parents doing the walking school bus in neighborhoods,” Mr. Tellef said. “That way, one parent each day is escorting the children to school. That way no one has to walk alone.”
Coyote Hills Elementary, 21180 N. 87th Ave., parents started a walking program last week to encourage students to walk together (See story, Page 7).
Post comments in the Public Issues Forum at www.newszap.com. News Editor Julie Anne Conolly can be reached at jmaurer@newszap.com.
I couldn’t bear to leave my babies even at this age, std one and four…i guess the mum had no choice and no family support and couldn’t afford child care…poor babies…how did the six year old feed the three year old…pergi toilet etc…soiled diapers the whole day…kesian betul..menangis i dengar…
Good post on safety measures for latchkey kids…
Tembam, how come our police belum organise safety talk to parents yet? memang in late Preeshena’s case, Nurin Alert would not have done anything. But if the cops have been agressive in teaching parents and caregivers about safety, we wouldn have this conversation.
Tehsin consider yourself fortunate sis. I believe the young mother had relatives who later come over. But for those few days when she could not get help, she could have informed her employer of her situation. How many employers do you think would be so kind as to allow her some time to find help for her kids? There is so many “what ifs’ but now its too late for Preeshena. I believe Shahrizat’s Ministry has been advocating creches at the workplace but how many employers do that. Many women have to work, that is a fact these days. I believe efforts are underway to get women to work from home, like you Tehsin, but you need skills that are marketable? Parents, especially single mothers, really do need help.
Farina, I am baffled too about many things in these cases. Unfortunately, the needless deaths of these children are what prompted us to take action. Please note in my earlier posts that the cops are pushing it back to the parents. So what do we do now? Shahrizat’s Ministry is pushing for the Child Protection Policy that has all these provisions including educating parents. They formulated the policy with other like minded NGOs, a commendable approach at community consensus. Policies will remain good on paper unless we, the people it was meant to benefit, do something to translate it into real action to benefit the community itself!
Parents leaving children alone at home? Sounds all too familiar to me. Neighbours? Well, I have to admit, some do help out but many just seem to have the “that’s not my problem” attitude. You want me to take care of your child while you’re at work, you pay me. End of story. Everything kena bayar nowadays. Nak buang air pun kena bayar…
Hi there Tembam,
In my office I have a female staff who had to work to support her family as husband’s income is insufficient. She has 5 children (pregnant with no.6 now!), aged 12 to 1 year. The younges is sent to babysitter,second youngest aged 6 is left alone at home with the rest of the the children. Why did she left her children alone? Very simple, they couldnt afford babysitting all kids, couldnt afford a maid, couldnt send to nursery and no relatives nearby.
I constantly caution her of the danger which she is fully aware, but they need the money and she cant stay at home jobless. We work in an area where security is tight and children are not allowed, otherwise, I wont mind having a separate daycare area for children where staff are accessible, just like in the west.
How do we help people like this? A good idea would be a community daycare, which could be run by neighbours, affordable, providing meals, care and love for children of all ages. This staff of mine lives in a 2 rooms flat, her children roams around freely and she is worried sick daily on their safety.
At the end, its easier said than done. To realise this massive exercise, we need Government assistance. It is not law to provide community and daycare centres, it can be made so. With a proper place, the rest will fall in place. This is then trully PREVENTION. It allows parents to work in peace, children in safe care and cost are reasonable.
I am lucky that I have my mom nearby to take care of the kids. Ever since Nurin, I never let them on their own and guard them like a hawk, but I do understand that not every parents have this choice. Commercial daycares cost a bomb as profit is the top priority.
While I believe its important to educate the parents first on the safety (afterall, they make all the decisions for their children), its even more important to provide options. Alas, as concerned as we are, there is a limitation in what we can do, but Datuk Sharizat can play a critical role in this. Nurin Alert will be fantastic for missing children, what about prevention?
Hi Mary Kate, well said. I believe many NGOs have been fighting for this for ages. But employers have their limitations too. It is a ctach 22 for the mothers all the time – don’t work means no money for food and necessities, go to work means have to leave children at home unattended. When they are in school, it is easier but then that time after school when no one is there to pick them up, also a major problem. It seems parents are struggling on many fronts.
I feel, it’s better to find ways to help them rather than to prosecute them. We need to save the child first. Indeed, there must be a system to ensure there is a place for children to go to when they come home from school. It depends very much on the community you live in. Some neighbours do care, but working mothers like us are not much use to our neighbours either.
Indeed, parents have to put priority on the children first. There is no point in working hard to better our children’s lives if they are harmed or even killed. It is the parent’s choice at the end of the day. Society cannot help unless parents come forward to ask. So, parents have to get help when they need it! They should not take chances when a child’s safety is at stake! Get help!
Pi Bani, tu lah nasib kita sekarang. Money talks even when it comes to finding a missing child. I tak mau mengeluh je. Nak ikut sifat you, tolong mereka yang perlu pertolongan, setakat yang terdaya. Tak da duit nak bayar masuk toilet, biar ler melepas kat depan toilet tu. Macam mana depa nak buat kalau dah jadik macam tu ya tak…????