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Archive for the ‘Ample-tude’ Category

She got the men all excited in Parliament yesterday at the mention of goats (Read story below. Source of photo here). The Deputy Minister Datuk Rohani Abdul Karim was of course referring to goat breeding but I am not sure what all the table thumping and chest beating male MPs were thinking but they seemed to be saying they could outperform the goats at “stud” duties! 

Merriam-Websters online dictionary defines “stud” as a group of animals and especially horses kept primarily for breeding. Having studied animal behaviour in college, I can tell you when it is breeding time, the male animals just go berserk, or as the Malays say “naik minyak”, and they literally ram into anything that moves. Goats in heat are just so testosterone driven, they can’t think what’s right and what’s wrong anymore. They need to do it or else! Hhhmmmm……come to think of it, that just sums up the behaviour of our men at this moment in our nation’s history. They ram into anything, thump tables, make lewd hand gestures, flash boxer shorts, give fiery yet meaningless speeches, file SDs and more SDs etc, etc, etc…floundering about like goats in heat! 

From the standpoint of physiology, in comparison, do human studs compare to their goat counterparts? From the remarks thrown by the male MPs (mostly from the testosterone challenged senior ones) at the Deputy Minister, our boys in Parliament fancy themselves to be stud muffins and God’s gift to women? No kidding!!! (As baby goats are called kids, pun intended!). No wonder the country is going to the……eeerrrrrr…..goats?   

WOMAN DEP MINISTER HAS HOUSE IN STITCHES WITH EXPLANATION ON STUD-GOAT

KUALA LUMPUR, July 10 (Bernama) — Deputy Agriculture and Agro-based Industry Minister Datuk Rohani Abdul Karim had members of the Dewan Rakyat in stitches today when she told the House of male goats being fed with “tongkat ali”, honey and chicken eggs to turn them into studs. She said each stud could “service” 80 does every breeding season and that they were crucial in determining the success of any goat breeding project.

Rohani was responding to a supplementary question from Datuk Ibrahim Ali (Independent- Pasir Mas) who wanted to know the progress of goat breeding projects carried out by the ministry. She said the studs were expensive as they served as the “starter” or “hero” for the animal breeding project. “After a stud has ‘serviced’ 80 does, it will be left to rest for a week during which it will be fed with tongkat ali, chicken and honey before it is brought out again to carry on with its task,” she added.

Rohani also told the House that they (studs) were also lent or leased to other goat breeding farms, adding that it was for this reason that the ministry was mulling starting a stud farm for the purpose of goat breeding. “If we can produce a good breed of studs, our goat breeding industry will be a success,” she said.

Earlier, to the original question by Mohsin Fadzli Samsuri (PKR-Bagan Serai), Rohani said the National Boer Goat Breeding Centre was progressing with 50 acres of the alienated area been developed for fodder crops while another 450 acres would be developed for the purpose this year. She also said there were 3,710 goat breeders nationwide and the number of goats being reared totalled 403,592.

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Try as I might to avoid politics and for lack of any interesting news, I did a search on Carburetor Dung and was I surprised at the fame these normal looking bunch of guys have achieved from their recent infamy. I can imagine that their brand of music and the statement they were trying to make did not go down well in the crowd the lead singer was flashing his behind to in Kelana Jaya, but interestingly even the more liberal newly enthroned Chief Minister of Penang seems to give them a no go. According to the New Straits Times here, the younger Lim was quoted as saying:

“It is a happy occasion for everyone in Penang, and also a rare honour for us all. Therefore, we have to celebrate. And it will be done on an appropriate scale,” said Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng. No rockers will be invited to take part in the celebrations, he joked, referring to the controversy surrounding punk band Carburetor Dung after the lead singer displayed his boxer shorts at a recent anti-fuel price increase rally in Petaling Jaya.

Wooo hooo, now the Dung boys are labelled as “inappropriate” entertainment! Unapologetic, the punk rock band gave media interviews to explain their side of the notorius performance that put them in the bigger spotlight. This report by the New Straits Times was carried in Asia One News “Band: Why should we say sorry”   

KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA – Local punk rock band Carburetor Dung claims that its performance at recent anti-fuel price increase rally in Kelana Jaya, Petaling Jaya, was “non-partisan”. Therefore, said the band’s leader, Joe Kidd, there was no reason why the band should apologise over the antics of its vocalist Alak during his rendition of Mari Nyanyi Jilat. Alak had caused a ruckus after he pulled down his pants and displayed his boxer shorts before the 10,000-odd audience attending the rally. “I don’t see the reason why the band should apologise. We aren’t partisans. We have shared concerns about what is happening in the country, but we are merely free agents.” He also added that Carburetor Dung was known for its punk-tinged songs which are hinged largely on satires about human values and social issues. “Our songs are very satirical because that’s what Carburetor Dung is all about.” Mari Nyanyi Jilat, he stressed, is “merely a song about integrity”. Asked about allegations by several parties that the band members were high during the show, Joe Kidd laughed them off. “It is really up to the audience to judge. A lot of people are taking it differently but if you had attended our performances in the past, you would be able to connect with us”. Formed in 1991, Carburetor Dung released its debut album, Fun Songs For Friends, in 1993.

Well, in keeping with the current politically charged climate, there is even an analysis about the unholy implications of their performance and the ensuing chaos and subsequent censure of the band by all who hold protest dear to their hearts. Read this interesting report posted on Asia Times Online.

Different Drums for Malaysia’s Opposition By Ioannis Gatsiounis

KUALA LUMPUR – A rally over the weekend against the Malaysian government’s recent decision to raise fuel prices turned ugly when the lead singer of the rock band Carburetor Dung exposed the top of his boxer shorts to the crowd.

Rowdy members of the estimated 5,000 audience at Kelana Jaya Stadium where the rally was held hurled bottles at the band and kicked and punched the singer as he climbed down from the stage. It would be tempting to pass the incident off as just another rock show gone haywire if not for what it reveals about the health of Malaysia’s fledgling democracy.

The rally brought together mainly activists and supporters of the loose coalition of opposition parties known as Pakatan Rakyat (PR), which won control of an unprecedented five of the federations 13 states at March general elections. The coalition is visibly led by the multi-racial People’s Justice Party (PKR), with the Chinese-based Democratic Action Party (DAP) and the conservative Islamic party Parti Islam se-Malaysia (PAS) serving as flanks.

The rally’s organizers told Asia Times Online that more than just being about fuel price hikes the event was meant to stress the need for greater accountability, plurality and freedom in a country ruled for five uninterrupted decades by the oppressive Barisan National (BN) coalition.

But, as with a number of ostensibly pro-democracy rallies within the last year here, PAS produced a strong, if not dominant, presence on Sunday. That presence was felt in the vendor tables leading to the stadium with their pirated jihad and anti-Semitic videos amid trinkets featuring the PAS logo, Koranic passages, and images of the party’s spiritual leader, Nik Abdul Aziz.

In the past the party had vowed to institute sharia law for Muslims, including the draconian hudud (criminal) code, should it come to power and has also supported the death penalty for Muslim apostates. Earlier this week Nik Aziz announced plans to introduce a new law forcing government workers to pray five times a day in the northeastern Kelantan state, where he is chief minister.

In the bleachers was a small but noteworthy presence of Middle Eastern attire – men in turbans and robes, women with head coverings with only slits for their eyes. These are, here, the zealous manifestations of those bought and sold on the eventual establishment of an Islamic state and whose inclinations sway instinctively toward PAS, the only party in Malaysia promising to deliver that dream.

(Not only here on earth, but also in the hereafter: Nik Aziz said before the 2004 elections that Malaysians who vote for PAS will go to heaven.)

Yearnings for an Islamic utopia void of haram (forbidden) elements apparently played a role in Sunday’s fracas. According to eyewitness accounts, most of the instigators during Carburetor Dung’s performance appeared to be PAS supporters, angry with the loud and perceived anti-Islamic music, vulgar lyrics and suggestive gyrations of the long-haired lead singer, Alak. PKR youth wing members in blue T-shirts were seen whisking the band to safety. (Click on title for more analysis)

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No, I am not on strike because I don’t understand what the hell there is to strike about! Not being a “celebrity” blogger, I just blog for myself and to share an insane thought or two. If you find my blog not updated, it’s usually because I am either busy, lazy, bored or have a real emergency to attend to. Really, I don’t care to spread lies, slander, demean or shame anyone through my blog or any other channels of human communication known to man. Unless you are blogging for money, I thought blogs was a means for personal self-expression or to speak out against issues that matter to you….errr…but not for toppling governments. Unless there is something rotting there already that is, so I am not sure what the fuss is all about. The rule is if you post crap on your blog, you attract flies who love the rot and the stink! Same goes for anything rotten in Denmark, or Malaysia, for that matter!

But sometimes, I do use the blog as a way to flash my middlefinger salute using words just to show my likes or dislikes. I suppose we all need to let out our aggression, especially with the exasperating political scenario and the frustrating rising cost of living whether using hand gestures or otherwise. So, with the latest uproar in Parliament caused by an MP flashing what was perceived to be an obscence hand gesture as reported in The Star here, I think a bit of education on do’s and dont’s of gesticulating is called for right about now. I found an interesting post on the Language Trainers Blog that lists “The top 10 hand gestures you’d better get right“. I’m not sure what the hand gesture made by Bung Mokhtar meant but take a look  at some good versus bad gestures below and guess which is which?:

Mork and Mindy

              

             Mr Spock

 

 

Political hand gestures

      

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I just added a front page photo from Utusan Malaysia that shows that the lead singer got mobbed by an incensed crowd at the event. See caption here.

That’s the name of their album “Allure of Manure” and I know I’m getting old but I never heard of Carburetor Dung (aka Dung), not until their lead singer was caught with his pants down at their most recent performance that is! (See The Star report below) I know a little bit about Indie bands as my son aspires to be as famous as “Pop Shuvit” but his own Indie band keeps disbanding! Sighs! Anyhow, Dung is a punk rock band (official website here and Myspace here) that caught my attention as they dared to poke fun at some unholy manure that stinks, ie. the DSAI probe!! I’m not quite sure how a protest against fuel prices has anything to do with all this political conspiracy and toppling  the Government crap which is not very amusing whatsoever, but at least Dung got their jab at it just for fun! Worst case scenario would be for us to try using dung produced methane gas for cooking. Studies have shown that generating methane gas from manure is highly feasible and there is enough hot air emitting from old farts in Malaysia that there’ll be natural gas to keep our fires fueled for ages. Maybe we shouldn’t tell these politicians to cut the crap after all!!!     

Rocker strips pants and bends down at audience
By LISA GOH

PETALING JAYA: A singer stripped his trousers and showed his boxer shorts during a concert at the anti-fuel price increase rally in Kelana Jaya stadium Sunday. The lead singer of rock band Carburettor Dung was halfway through a song at about 7pm when he dropped his pants and exposed his boxer shorts. His antics resulted in the audience hurling abuses and throwing bottles at him. Security volunteers had to escort the singer and his band members off the stage while event organisers tried to calm the crowd. It is learnt that prior to his strip performance, the singer was singing a song that included lyrics poking fun at the sodomy allegations against PKR de facto leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim. A member of the audience who did not want to be named described the act as inappropriate as there were children present at the event. Another man, who also wanted to be anonymous, said it was very unprofessional of the singer, adding that he was very upset because many VIPs, including Anwar would be present. As the situation came under control, event coordinator Hishamuddin Rais came out to apologise for the incident. The organisers then called for a break for Maghrib prayers.

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Munira’s comment on my previous blog brought me back from the brink of flinging myself off the edge of hopeless despairing darkness into Sim Land where fuel is forever free. In fact, in Sim Land I don’t even have to fill any petrol in my new hot rod! Well folks, my Utopia is called the Sims 2 Double Deluxe game pack and I am having a ball playing God from my dream house where my slaves live and love freely in bisexual permissiveness. If you think I’ve gone bonkers, you are right because I am nuts about this amazingly real, best selling computer game in the world. I first started playing the earlier version of The Sims when my daughter bought the game in her early teens and since then we kept adding extension packs till we got stumped in our tracks with the need for a 3D card for Sims 2. Until now that is!!!

Hey, the way gamers mimic reality is so spooky that it gets me thinking this IS real life! As my Sims go through their life changes, if they don’t workout they will even get middle-age spread as they age. Shucks, I can’t even escape being Tembam in my unreal world?  If in the real world you get warped women sending love letters to monster dungeon dad Josef Fritzl, the failed bid by Hillary Clinton to be the first woman President in the White House because of sex, and now fuel price increases that will snowball into increase of everything else down the line, I have no wish to live in Boleh Land! Who cares that fuel prices are increasing in all parts of the world because of a predicted short supply that we knew was coming but what the hell, let’s just go ahead and buy our hot rods anyway. I bought my really hot ride in Sim Land, after I cheated without fear of being caught and hoarded a bunch of simeloens (Sim currency) that is! I also leave all my electrical gadgets on round the clock without fear of environmental degradation and global warming. I also live in the lap of luxury and wine and dine like a queen. Hey, who wants to work hard for a measely salary just to live, man? Nothing is free in this world and not in Sim Land either! We have to buy food, pay bills and fork our the simeleons for all our luxuries like my snazzily-equipped Disneylandish gadget-filled abode and, of course, to pay the salaries for my maid, gardener, exterminator, and even the pizza delivery boy. The only thing free is petrol!!!

Considering there have been protests and even riots in India, UK, Brussels, Paris, Chile, Dublin, Indonesia and many other parts of the world as reported here, Malaysians will have to brace themselves as we will not be spared from further social unrest fueled by, what else, fuel!!. There already are minor skirmishes and according to highly popular alternative media sources there is a massive rally being planned soon. I have to hand it to our protestors these post-Mahathir times, they sure are getting a lot of practice at protest organizing without fear of being nabbed under the ISA. Maybe we can offer protest organizing services to other developing countries that need massive traffic jams, social turmoil and general chaos. Although I am not hopeful how this will make much difference to the fuel situation, I do hope the authorities will not take a high-handed approach in crowd control as the people are already facing economic hardships. Having just returned from a trip to Alor Star where I feasted on pacifying visions of placidly growing beautifully lush green rice fields as far as the eye could see, I said a prayer of thanksgiving to Allah that this blessed land, Malaysia, will pull through whatever crisis as long as we have food, water, blue skies and national unity.

As for those planned riots and demonstrations? Maybe they should all migrate to Sim Land where petrol is free!!!  In the meantime, please watch this fantastic YouTube videoclip that explains the reason why the world is in such chaos and there is no peace in the land today – all because men have such poor Male Restroom Etiquette!!!                

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Blogs have become a hot topic these post-general election days and, because of my allergy to politics,  I find it discomforting that this really great channel for sharing information with like-minded individuals has now become highly politicised. I just read these reports about “22 websites, blogs probed” and “Govt to engage bloggers in cyberspace” and marvel at this new awareness of the Government as reported in the second article:

He acknowledged that the Government had overlooked the impact of engaging the new media during the recent general election which was a new dimension in winning over public opinion. Admitting that the government-of-the-day had not been savvy in engaging new media so much so that it lost out in cyberspace.

I am not a political blogger and neither  am I active in any blogger movement because before there was such activism, bloggers were just happily blogging to feed their personal addiction for the written word and for sharing their inspired jottings with anyone who happened to  appreciate it. But since the stance taken by the Government towards political blogs, blogging suddenly became threatening. Having been a journalist in the past helped when I ventured into blogging myself, considering that I insist on wearing rose-tinted glasses, I seek my own delusions anyway and avoid hate blogs filled with unsubstantiated information. Too much negativity around already!   

Nevertheless, I can personally vouch for my own fury with the previous Information Minister for his lack of understanding about the power of this new media. He did not seem to understand that people had a right to think for themselves and should not be subjected to endless propoganda via RTM in the guise of “information”. Brain dead people do not make good citizens! Indeed, the over-the-top misuse of mainstream media in the recent general elections contributed greatly to the aversion for propaganda-tainted news and the massive loss of support for those in power   

Now that I am sort of cut-off from people as I work from home, I find blogging very therapeutic as it sharpens my thinking and helps improve my writing skills. The best part about blogs is the amazing alternatives this new media offers compared to the often stale and biased reporting of mainstream media, you just pick and choose your favourites. Much of the attraction of blogs is the interesting viewpoints and gems of information not touched in regular media that makes for mighty interesting reading.

Blogosphere is a whole new world and everyone is trying to navigate their way safely while learning from the experience of other bloggers. Hey, this new media is perplexing authorities in other countries too but it is not blogging that is the problem but what goes into it. Personal thoughts and opinions may be fine in a diary, but when you put what is in your head online, it adds a whole new dimension to thinking out loud. There is no way the Government can regulate it and no way to prevent people from doing it. The best thing they can do is use it as a means to gauge public opinion and gather feedback on how best to serve the rakyat. Much as the writers can vent in their own blogs, readers too can make up their own mind about what they read. We all need to mature as a society.

Watch the YouTube videoclip “Blogs in Plain English” to understand more about blogs. It really is good!

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Update: Well, it seems the Malaysian Medical Association is demanding full clarification over deputy Health Minister Datuk Dr Abdul Latiff Ahmad’s statement that doctors were “licensed to kill” as reported here 

As a lecturer in a local medical school many years ago, I used to impress upon my first year students struggling with human anatomy that, as a matter of principle, I could not pass those who were weak in the subject as that would be tantamount to giving them a “licence to kill”. Indeed, the students will hear this same phrase repeatedly throughout the course of their medical education until they finally graduate to be unleashed unto the unsuspecting world.  While their professional training gives them “A licence to heal”, ill prepared and poorly trained doctors will most certainly be  given “a licence to kill” when they begin treating patients who literally put their lives into the doctor’s hands.

So when the Deputy Health Minister, who is a doctor himself, makes this oft repeated statement in Parliament as reported in The Star here, Bernama here and New Straits Times here. (Please also see the videoclip above), I am sure he was truly surprised at the reaction of Opposition MPs, several of them fellow doctors. It was clearly obvious that the MPs had jumped at the phrase due to its more popular use in a James Bond movie of the same name. A storm in a teacup really! When there are so many more important issues to debate, our MPs need to pick on semantics?? Deep sigh!!  For me, the response by Dr Wan Azizah was most puzzling of all when, speaking as a doctor in this YouTube videoclip here, she raised her right hand to say that doctors have taken the Hippocratic Oath when in fact the Oath runs as follows:

I swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepios and Hygeia and Panacea and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant:

To hold him who has taught me this art as equal to my parents and to live my life in partnership with him, and if he is in need of money to give him a share of mine, and to regard his offspring as equal to my brothers in male lineage and to teach them this art – if they desire to learn it – without fee and covenant; to give a share of precepts and oral instruction and all the other learning to my sons and to the sons of him who has instructed me and to pupils who have signed the covenant and have taken an oath according to the medical law, but no one else.

I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice.

I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not give to a woman an abortive remedy. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art.

I will not use the knife, not even on sufferers from stone, but will withdraw in favor of such men as are engaged in this work.

Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves.

What I may see or hear in the course of the treatment or even outside of the treatment in regard to the life of men, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep to myself, holding such things shameful to be spoken about.

If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot. 

Opposed to the referrence to Greek Gods in the original context of the Hippocratic Oath,  and at the height of Islamic Revivalism, the Islamic Medical Association of North America came together to come up with this medical oath which is a composite from the historical and contemporary writings of physicians of the Islamic World and was officially adopted by I.M.A. in 1977.

The Oath of a Muslim Physician

Praise be to Allah (God), the Teacher, the Unique, Majesty of the heavens, the Exalted, the Glorious, Glory be to Him, the Eternal Being Who created the Universe and all the creatures within, and the only Being Who contained the infinity and the eternity. We serve no other god besides Thee and regard idolatry as an abominable injustice.

Give us the strength to be truthful, honest, modest, merciful and objective.
Give us the fortitude to admit our mistakes, to amend our ways and to forgive the wrongs of others.

Give us the wisdom to comfort and counsel all towards peace and harmony.
Give us the understanding that ours is a profession sacred that deals with your most precious gifts of life and intellect.

Therefore, make us worthy of this favoured station with honor, dignity and piety so that we may devote our lives in serving mankind, poor or rich, literate or illiterate, Muslim or non-Muslim, black or white with patience and tolerance with virtue and reverence, with knowledge and vigilance, with Thy love in our hearts and compassion for Thy servants, Thy most precious creation.

Hereby we take this oath in Thy name, the Creator of all the Heavens and the earth and follow Thy counsel as Thou has revealed to Prophet Mohammad (pbuh).

“Whoever killeth a human being, not in liew of another human being nor because of mischief on earth, it is as if he hath killed all mankind. And if he saveth a human life, he hath saved the life of all mankind.” (Qur’an V/35)

But then I suppose politicians answer to a different kind of calling and take a different kind of oath. I wonder if there is anything in the MPs oath that says they should stop wasting precious Parliament and TV airtime with meaningless debate. Oh well, let’s have some fun while we are at it then. Please watch this hilarious spoof of James Bond and “A License to Heal” made by the medical students of Washington University and chill!

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